Do you want to know? (Part I )
Do you want to know how it feels to love someone who you hurt the most?
Do you want to know how life becomes when you live it for someone?
Do you want to know how it all starts feeling part of life?
Do you want to know?
For the past few hours, these lines are repeatedly calling in her head. and there’s no such thing in the name of “answer”…… The doors were still open but he was not there who was screeming on her hours ago.
and here is she still standing in front of the door, imagining him as he is still here…
1 year ago…
It was twelve o’clock in the night… it was lightly drizzling outside…. she was sitting alone in her room holding a cup of tea lost in her thoughts… the smell of rain from the open window which was the smell of wet soil but she used to call it the smell of rain… When the lightning flashed, the raindrops falling on the ground looked so beautiful in its light… She took a deep breath as if there was some peace in the scent that calmed her and helped fill her soul …. Suddenly there was a noise in the room, she was a little shocked because it was dark in the room, she could not see who it was, but she knew who it was, who was in the house apart from two people? Raising her eyebrows in confusion, she turned on the flashlight of her mobile …
He was standing silently in front of her, coming two steps forward, and said, “Are you still awake?” The furrows on his forehead deepened, meaning there was no other choice but to speak “Listen! This is not a shoulder you can lay your head on and shed your tears.” He was not surprised by her answer, not with him, but living under one roof, he had already understood this and perhaps he never wanted a straight answer either.
“Why are you so cold-hearted?” A sarcastic smile played on her lips. “Do I have another option?” She continued gazing at the rain.
“How would you proceed in any case? Would you willingly expose your heart to individuals like yourself? “Engage with it, and once your heart is brimming, shatter it and cast it aside… Excuse me, but my heart holds too much value to be sold to anonymous admirers.”
She had a very cold heart, or maybe she didn’t even have a heart there is just a stone… one look at his cold face as if he was regretting why he spoke. He had come to lighten his heart, for the last two days he was locked in a room without eating anything and was cursing his love of four years for the sake of which he broke up with all his loved ones. All that was left was that he was with a girl who herself had no expectations from a relationship of that name, who never realized this relationship, never earned any rights, and this relationship was the same for her. It was normal for him.
Though life hadn’t always been this way for him, he failed to appreciate the joys that came unbidden, perhaps he was getting them without wanting, without asking, he never thought that he would associate his happiness with someone like that because of which one day he will reach a situation where he doesn’t care if he is begging for comfort from the woman he hasn’t even seen properly in these two years. (and two years was not a small period of life, it’s more than enough to know someone’s intention as to whether he or she wants a partner or not)
He didn’t even let me realize his existence, but now he probably realized that he had come to smash his head on a rock, shedding tears in front of someone who didn’t value tears.
(However, for her it wasn’t that simple. She understood that if she began consoling him, he might become accustomed to it and exploit her as a means to move forward. She wasn’t prepared to let him form connections only to leave one day.)
How can anyone be so heartless that she doesn’t have two words of comfort for a person who has lost love, or maybe she has never loved anyone, and who has never loved can understand the pain of heartbreak?
To be continued……..
Little things in written by Roha💌
